“There is no doubt—in the parable or the painting—about the father’s heart. His heart goes out to both of his sons; he loves them both; he hopes to see them together as brothers around the same table; he wants them to experience that, different as they are, they belong to the same household and are children of the same father.” (pg. 105)
Isn’t that just like our Heavenly Father? God loves all of us equally. He knew all about us before we were even born, because He chose each of us. He wants us to love one another, no matter how different we are. We belong to the same Heavenly household; we are brothers & sisters – children of God. Nouwen sums up the entire painting in one sentence: “It is the human expression of divine compassion.” (pg. 92)
For the past year or so, I have been going through a period of spiritual growth. I’m a “Cradle Catholic” & have gone to church all my life. I went through CCD & did everything that was expected of me. Even in college, when many young adults sort of take a break from their faith, I never stopped going. Sure I might have missed a few Masses here & there. Then I got married & had children. I began to realize that children’s questions would be along soon & I wasn’t sure how I would reply, so I started to research. In trying to learn more about my Catholic faith, I realized how much I really do not know.
I had lunch w/ a friend a couple months ago, someone neutral to my situation who could be a sounding board for me. In those three hours, she helped me to understand several things – the first of which was that I wasn’t so much in a slump like I thought, but a growth period. Everyone goes through them at least once in their life and each ones helps you to grow stronger.
Another subject we touched upon was “Making the Choice.” Many of the books I’ve read were written by those who had converted to the Catholic faith. They had made a choice to become Catholic, whereas I had grown up in the church. All my life I’d done what was expected of me & just went with the flow. Now, it is my turn to make the choice. I am amazed at how just three short hours could change my thought process & help me to feel better about myself. While I still have a long way to go in understanding my faith, I don’t feel like a failure.
On pg. 106, Nouwen describes his struggle in life to find God through prayer, readings, & helping others.
“Now I wonder whether I have sufficiently realized that during all this time God has been trying to find me, to know me, and to love me. The question is not ‘How am I to find God?’ but ‘How am I to let myself be found by him?’ The question is not ‘How am I to know God?’ but ‘How am I to let myself be known by God?’ And, finally, the question is not ‘How am I to love God?’ but ‘How am I to let myself be loved by God?’ God is looking into the distance for me, trying to find me, and longing to bring me home.”
I, too, have struggled to sense God in my life & am finding that I need to be more open to the little things – that near miss on the freeway, the way the sunset looks, that beautiful double rainbow, the laughter of my children. All are present in my life by the hand of God.
Reading this book has also been a great help in my spiritual growth. Another dear friend had loaned me a grocery bag full of books she thought might help & this was one of them. So, MJ, thanks from the bottom of my heart!
God bless,
munchesmom
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