Fifteen Years of Marriage...Stronger in Faith = Stronger in Love

 

On this day, 15 years ago, I said, "I DO!" to my best friend, my love, my dear husband, Matthew! 

Fifteen years? WOW!

It hasn't always been easy, especially in the beginning. We fought A LOT! It was tough to bring our backgrounds together & form a family. Our first grocery shopping trip was a nightmare. Compromise didn't come easy in the beginning to both of our stubborn beings.

"My mom bought this laundry soap."

"Well, MY mom bought this one!"

Eventually, we chose our own laundry soap. About five or six years ago, we took it a step further...I now MAKE our laundry soap! No more grocery store arguments...at least about laundry soap!

I won't go into detail about all our other arguments, but I will say what I truly believe has helped...our Faith!

Both of us were what most people might call "lukewarm Catholics" when we got married. We were born & raised in the Catholic Church. Neither of us strayed too far, even in the college years. Sure there were times we'd wake up & say, "Oh, let's just skip Mass today & sleep in."

For me (& maybe even for Matt), our thoughts began to change once we started having children. We wanted to instill a strong sense of faith into their lives. At the same time, I began to question some things about the Catholic Church & immersed myself in learning more. I struggled for a while, but with the help of a friend, I "chose" my Faith. (That's a more detailed post for another day.)

Around the same time, probably because I was questioning a lot, Matt also re-embraced the Faith. He'd always been great about saying prayers before every meal. (I was more of a dinnertime pray-er.) We both found that the more prayer we added to our lives, the more Faith-filled materials we read & watched, the stronger our Faith grew. And the stronger our Faith grew, the stronger our love for one another grew. 

We still argue. We still have moments where we want to just scream & walk away. BUT...those moments are fewer & far between. We've learned that an argument is not the end of a relationship. It's just a stepping stone on the way to something even more wonderful. 

We don't have much money, but what we do have is more important...We have each other. We have four BEAUTIFUL children who show us time & again how wonderful God is & how He is working in our lives. Most importantly, we have our Faith. 

We are thankful for each day we have together & I look forward to many years to come with this wonderful husband & father to our children.

So, THANK YOU, MATTHEW...for 15 wonderfully blessed years of marriage. I LOVE YOU more w/ each passing day & thank God for bringing you into my life.

Anniversary Celebration for My Parents

HandyGramps & HelpfulGrammy
June 1966

As I mentioned before, HandyGramps & HelpfulGrammy recently celebrated their 45th wedding anniversary. Last night, their parish held a special Mass & dinner reception in their honor, as well as an early celebration of HandyGramps 30th diaconate anniversary. The celebration was wonderful & full of love. It was amazing to see how many people showed up to show their love & support for my parents' many years together.

HandyGramps preached the homily for the Mass & the readings for the 15th Sunday in Ordinary Time were perfect for their celebration. He talked about the many types of seeds that can be planted & tied it in w/ the seed that took root some 60 years ago when the two of them played together as children. I think it is so sweet that they shared an aunt & uncle, so they'd known each other for a long time. (They didn't officially date until after high school.)

My sister & I decided to write a tribute to our parents to read during the reception. We received a lot of laughs, as many of the guests could relate & had heard similar comments from their parents. The first part was a compilation of poems she had found that talked about things parents teach their children. It included things like:

My parents taught me RELIGION: You better pray that will come out of the carpet.

My parents taught me about TIME TRAVEL: You better shape up or I'll knock you into the middle of next week.

We followed the poem compilation w/ some things we personally learned from our parents:

The Value & Importance of Education

My Sister: They would not give the answer to our questions; we had to look them up in the dictionary or encyclopedia (this was way before the internet!)

Me: In second grade, I used to write my sentences w/ the words close together. To demonstrate how difficult this was for my teacher, Dad wrote a sentence w/ the words pushed together & asked me to read it.

Creative Discipline

My Sister: If you slam your bedroom door one too many times, it WILL be removed from its hinges for about a week!

Me: If you are asked where your sister is & you reply that you don’t know or care, you WILL be required to report her whereabouts every ½ hour for the rest of the day.

I remember one time I told Mom that I would NEVER tell my kids “No!” when I grew up. I’m sure my kids will tell you that is definitely not the case these days!

Household / Helpfulness

As we’ve gotten older & are running our own homes, we still ask for Mom & Dad’s assistance at times. It may be babysitting, picking up something from the store, running one of the grandkids somewhere, repairing or replacing household items (& learning a few “not-to-be-repeated” phrases in the process). I like to joke that when something needs fixed, we just call 1-800-CALLDAD. On my blog, I use code names to protect our identity! Because I’ve referred to Mom & Dad frequently, I felt they needed some names too. So, they became HelpfulGrammy & HandyGramps.

Closing:

Jesse Jackson once said "Children need your presence more than your presents." Mom & Dad surely exemplified that. Mom didn't work until we were both in school & even then, she was home by the time we got home. We took yearly vacations, had dinner as a family most every night, spent time w/ extended family on most weekends, played games, & laughed a LOT, right Mom?

Exchanging cake bites 45 years later...

Yes, they were very nice about it!

I put together a couple of collages for them also. One was for HandyGramps 30th diaconate anniversary. His actual anniversary isn't until January, but their parish wanted to combine the celebrations & thank him for his many years of service. And technically, he IS in his 30th year as a deacon, right?


The other collage was for both of them as a couple. It included b&w photos of them as children, early snapshots from the 70s & 80s as my sister & I were growing up, & more recent ones of all of us, grandkids included.


Overall, it was a wonderful evening celebrating two wonderful people! They deserved all the special treatment they received. I am proud to be their daughter & to be able to call them Mom & Dad. I am thankful for all the love, discipline, & guidance they've given me over the years.

Many Anniversary Blessings for you,
HandyGramps & HelpfulGrammy!
I love you both!

A Thankful Woman's Book of Blessings

Judy over at A Thankful Woman's Book of Blessings, hosts this meme every Wednesday. Simply list five things (or a prayer or any thoughts) for which you are truly thankful this week. Voicing my thanks helps put my life in perspective & realize that, no matter how bad things might be, there is still MUCH good surrounding me.

1) I'm thankful for good times w/ extended family & friends. We spent Sunday at my aunt & uncle's house celebrating Father's Day & my cousin's college graduation. It was a fun, relaxing time, w/ the exception of The Saint's hand scare (see HERE for details, if you dare!)

2) I'm thankful for the gratefulness & joyful faces of the munchkins during those times the past couple days when I said "YES" to their reasonable requests, including an impromptu sleep-over here w/ their cousin.

3) I'm thankful for the 12 years of marriage Casinodad & I celebrated on Sunday. He's been a WONDERFULLY, SWEET husband & father. I am so blessed to have him in my life. (see HERE for our engagement story.)

4) I'm thankful The Prophet is old enough to mow the lawn now AND he likes to do it. One of us still has to be outside w/ him & touch up a few areas afterwards, but he does a pretty good job for us.

5) I'm thankful that all four munchkins LOVE to read, just like their parents. Even The Saint, at 22 months, will stretch out on his stomach to look through his picture books (& it's so cute to see his little legs kicking up in the air!)

Remembering The Proposal

Yesterday, Casinodad & I celebrated 12 years of marriage. In this post two years ago, I talked about how we met & left it w/ a "to be continued w/ the proposal." Well, I guess I should probably make good on that promise!

After he had asked for my phone number on Christmas Eve of 1996, he called me the day after Christmas. (Truthfully, I think he wanted to call me as soon as he got off work that day...he was so excited!) We talked on the phone several times before we actually went out...delayed a bit because I got sick w/ a cold. Our first date was shortly after New Year's Eve. We went to dinner at Chile Verde, a Mexican restaurant that is no longer open, then went to see Jerry Maguire. I think it's probably the last Tom Cruise movie that I liked. We stopped at the coffee shop next door when the movie was over. I think Casinodad was still a bit nervous because he ended up spilling hot chocolate on his shirt :)

We talked a lot that night & I think both of us knew deep down that we were destined to get married. We were pretty much dating exclusively from the start, even though we were taking things slow. We'd both had previously relationships that ended badly & wanted to be sure this time around. By Valentine's, after one of our dates, he told me that he loved me. My response..."Are you sure?" (Probably not the best question when someone professes their love to you!) Even though I knew I loved him by then, I wasn't ready to voice it for another couple of weeks. I think my comment gave him pause to think & fret. As soon as he got home, he called me, very worried that he had ruined our relationship. I assured him that he had not. By my birthday, at the end of February, I was ready to tell him that I loved him.

Shortly after that, we started talking about marriage & looking at rings...not making any specific plans because we wanted to wait a while. Basically, we were unofficially engaged. At the time, I was a store manager for Blockbuster Video & a coordinator for one of our church's music ensembles. I liked my job, but had some late hours. Once a month, we had to complete a store inventory & couldn't start until the store closed at Midnight. Inventory for April of 1997 just happened to be the night before Easter. Casinodad was to pick me up before the Noon Mass at church. He wanted to meet earlier to exchange our Easter presents, but knowing that I wouldn't be home until at least 4am, I wanted to sleep as long as possible & wait until after Mass.

I was in the cry room putting my flute away after Mass & the door to the church was open. Casinodad was talking to my best friend & overhead snippets of their conversation. That's when I started to get a little suspicious. She was basically asking if he'd done it yet.

After Mass, he seemed really nervous & couldn't wait to get back to my apartment. Hmmm! Something was definitely up! He wanted to exchange gifts as soon as we walked in the door. I gave him his first...a silver pail filled w/ men's toiletries from Bath & Body Works. He handed me a big oval-shaped basket that was holding six miniature plastic eggs & one larger one in the middle. I was told to open the little ones first. Each one held a small piece of construction paper w/ something written on it: "Beautiful, Brown Eyes," "Kind Heart," Soft Skin," Great Sense of Humor," "Enchanting Voice," & "Long, Flowing, Lustrius, Curly, Brown, Hair." And, in the larger egg was one last note: "My Sweet (my name), Look at the bottom of this Easter basket to see how much I love you. Love, (his name)." Underneath all the green fake grass was a green box & a beautiful, simple 3/8 carat diamond ring. Casinodad knelt in front of me & proposed w/ tears in his eyes. With tears in mine, I accepted!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to my Dear, Sweet Husband! I LOVE YOU & look forward to many more years together!

(to be continued w/ the wedding...I promise not to wait two years this time!)

Who Knew?

Well, both our parents had anniversaries in June. We decided to get them some gift cards & ordered them online. For Casinodad's parents, we got one for Darden restaurants (Olive Garden, Red Lobster). For mine, we decided on (what we thought) was a nice Italian restaurant. I was sure I had passed one at some point & thought it was on the way to their house. The other day, I drove by & found that I was wrong. It was a different Italian restaurant, but that's okay...we'll figure out where it is because I'm sure it's not far. (Insert hesitate laugh here.)

Once I got to their house, I apologized because it wasn't where I thought it was. Dad then asked me exactly what I thought the place was. My response: an Italian restaurant, right? Nope! We had given them at gift card to Cabelas - a outdoor sporting store...FOR THEIR ANNIVERSARY!

Oh, & this gets even better! Mom called this morning. She went online to see where the closest one was. The two closest are in our neighboring states! So, when did I see one?!?!?!

I'm too young for Senior Moments. Is there such a thing as Junior Moments?

Celebrating 10 Years

Ten years ago today, Casinodad & I took our wedding vows, pledging to love one another & keeping God at the center of our marriage. As I was cleaning out some stuff, I came across the following that I wrote about our meeting each other & thought I would share it with you.

It all began in November 1996. Mentally, I had reached a low point in my life. My friends & I were all busy with our jobs so we didnt' see much of each other, my sister had recently gotten engaged, & I was having trouble adjusting to my new position as a store manager for Blockbuster. On the positive side, I was an independent person with a full time job, a great family, & wonderful friends. Something was missing from my life though. I was ready to settle down but was missing someone to share my life with.

It was a Friday evening & I had just been paid. Since I had worked that day I had to go to a bank that would be open - inside a local grocery store. Casinodad handled my transaction. He was extremely polite, friendly, & had the nicest smile. I remember thinking that I wouldn't mind getting to know him. He asked about my job. I told him I had recently been promoted to store manager. As I was leaving, he congratulated me & wished me luck.

Two Sundays later, after church, I had to go back to the bank. He was there again & impressed me by saying "munchesmom, right?" I was flattered & thought that was a positive sign of interest. (I didn't want to get my hopes up though. Maybe he was like that with all his customers.) As he was handling my transaction we talked briefly. He asked if I was any relation to the deacon at my church. I said yes, he was my father. As it turned out, he used to go there. He remembered me from there years ago. I didn't remember him, but he did say he had been shy then. He also mentioned that his sister had worked at another Blockbuster & asked how my store was. I was very impressed by his memory - my name, job, & even church.

Three days before Christmas was our next encounter. We talked briefly about Christmas shopping while another girl waited on me. As I was leaving, he mentioned the bank's hours on Christmas Eve & that he would be there. I siad that hopefully I wouldn't need more money & wished him a Merry Christmas.

As it turned out, I did need more money!! Thinking the bank opened at ten, I arrived at 10:30am. Since they didn't open until eleven, I went ahead & did some shopping. Casinodad was there when I went back so I was able to talk to him while another teller waited on me. Casinodad wasn't working a window, so when I was finished I took the initiative to step aside to talk to him.

We discussed our Christmas plans. I mentioned that I had gone out to eat w/ a friend the night before. He asked if it was with my boyfriend. When I said no, he quickly jumped on that & asked if I had a boyfriend. When I said no, he said he was also single. He asked if he could call me sometime. I gave him my number, we talked a little more, then I left with a huge smile.

(He told me later, after we'd been dating a while, that they were not having a great day at work that day. The ATM was giving them troubles, customers were cranky, etc. But he walked around w/ a smile on his face the whole day! Hmmm! I wonder why!)

The first song I heard in the car on the way home was "I've Finally Found Someone" by Barbra Streisand & Bryan Adams. This song has become our song, because we had indeed found our special someone!

(to be continued with the proposal)