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Thursday, March 26, 2015

Planks & Specks in Marriage!

Recently, I finished reading "Love is a Flame". It is a compilation of true stories collected by James Stuart Bell. Each story is told in the words of the one who experienced a rekindling of love in his/her relationship.

In many of the stories, the writers share how much they wished to change their spouse. One even said that her plan was to get her man to the altar, then once married, she would alter him!

Wives would complain about how many hours their husbands worked, how much time he spent on his own pursuits, how little they communicated w/ one another. Husbands complained that their wives spent so much time & energy on the children &/or volunteer activities, then not have anything left for meeting his needs. 

At some point in the litany of complaints, a revelation would be made. The complainer would realize that one cannot change another person. 

You can only change yourself. Responsibility for another person's actions does not lie w/ you...only they can change themselves. You can certainly pray for them & if it be God's Will, they can be led to change. 

The Gospel of Matthew came to mind at this point, specifically Matthew 7:5. This is the verse where Jesus admonishes hypocrites to remove the plank from their own eye. Only then will they be able to see clearly enough to remove the speck from their brother's eye.

Once these individuals realized that they could only change themselves, removing the plank from their own eye, something amazing happened...they no longer had a need or desire to remove the speck in their spouse's eye. 

Incredible! I wonder if that was part of Jesus' plan all along!


Victor S E Moubarak said...

I remember reading somewhere that women marry men in the hope they can change them. Whilst men marry women in the hope they will not change.

Personally, I have found that archaeologists make the best marriage partners. The older you get the more interested they are in you.

God bless.